INTERLUDE-PART-2 THERE IS NEVER A ROSE W/O THORNS
by Rufferto
Summary: FINISHED Sequel to INTERLUDE. Will Legolas and Merilas be happy? Can he help her to let go of the memories? This is not in the same story as Interlude because there are some mild sex scenes. No slash.
1. 01

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THERE IS NEVER A ROSE WITHOUT THORNS  
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DISCLAIMER  
  
I don't own Tolkien characters or settings… Rufferto loves all her readers and gladly accepts comments, suggestions and desires from them. I write for the enjoyment of others and myself. I do not take kindly to reviewers who 'flame'. Flaming is unnecessary. Constructive Criticism is. Rufferto please asks that everyone "Be excellent to each other".and that we are all here for the same purpose to write and have fun reading fan fiction.  
  
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THERE IS NEVER A ROSE WITHOUT THORNS  
  
This story is about Legolas and Merilas. For those of you who have not read Interlude, it is the Sequel to Interlude. I was begged…so here you are. A nice angst elf romance!  
  
Merilas was a slave of Orcs for 15 years. She regained her soul when she looked after Frodo in the Tower. Legolas continued to love her even though she was scarred horribly by the Orc who kept her prisoner.  
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CHAPTER ONE : On the Way Home  
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We left Frodo safe in Rivendell, though I had wanted to stay. Legolas did convince me that since he had someone to take care of him it was best to let him deal with only one person. We both had horses and rode in silence for the first couple of hours. I did not really know what to say. I had a feeling of dread…going home after all this time. After everything…I didn't look at him, but kept my eyes fixed on the road. I don't know why I had agreed to it, it just seemed futile. I would end up hurting him because I couldn't stay. I don't think he really understood what I was going through and might have been hoping that I would change my mind.   
  
I wasn't altogether sure that he really did love me either. He had spent a lot of time looking for me, but I thought that he did so more out of duty than out of love. Love developed with his desire to find me. I was pretty sure he had convinced himself over the years that he was in love with me. I certainly doubted he really knew me. Even back then…he never really tried to get to know me.  
  
Sure he desired me back then. I was…beautiful once. Now I think he might be deluding himself…or maybe he was acting out of pity. Regardless. I didn't want his pity, and I wasn't sure that I wanted his love either. I did not even want to go home. Why was I doing this? It would only end in heartbreak.  
  
I was pretty sure that he was taking me home…as if I was a trophy. He wanted to prove to his father that he'd found me. But he didn't really. He only found me because I had let myself be found. I pulled the hood down further, I did not want anyone seeing us…or me. Legolas moved his horse back a few paces and then next to mine. He looked at me, and it seemed like he wanted to say something but did not know what to say.  
  
"Meri." he spoke at last. "Are you alright? You're awfully quiet…" And I was. I suppose he wasn't used to that. In the past, I never stopped talking. "Do you want to stop and rest?"  
  
I glanced at him, his face showed only concern. I found it impossible to be angry or upset at him. He truly -did- care. He just did not know how to handle me, and did not understand. "I'm fine." I spoke softly, leaning down to pat the neck of my mare. I did that mostly to avert my eyes from his.   
  
Legolas frowned and looked away himself. "If something's bothering you…please…talk to me." he looked back. "I will understand."  
  
It was impossible for him to understand. I turned to fix my gaze on him then, a gaze that spoke more than words could possibly do in a thousand years. "Understand?" my voice was hollow. Emotion boiled in my heart as I tried to sort through what I was feeling. "You'll never understand." I said coldly, and clicked my heels against the mare to move away from Legolas' steed. I did not miss the hurt expression that clouded his eyes and he cleared his throat, trying to find an answer to that no doubt.   
  
"Maybe not right away." his voice was soft. "But if you let me, I will try." he moved his horse beside mine again. "I don't know what happened to you. I can only…guess…" he swallowed. "You can tell me…anything. I won't judge you, and I won't turn away from you. I want to know…I keep imagining what must have happened, and every thought that goes through me fills me with sorrow. I've spent so long thinking about what had become of you. Please…you can talk to me. Maybe it will help…"  
  
I didn't doubt it would, but I doubted that he would be able to listen if I went into detail about what had been done to me, and what I'd seen them do to Frodo and others. How many times had I watched them torture innocents…too many…more than I could count….more than I could remember. "Maybe." I shook my head. "Legolas you cannot even begin to understand. You have never been at the mercy of people who do not know the meaning of the word. You have never watched death in progress…or seen the flesh ripped off of a living being strip by strip…You have never had to rest amid screams of pain and suffering. You are not ready to hear my story."  
  
And the horror in his eyes was enough to convince me that he truly was not. I saw him tremble slightly as he stared at me. I think perhaps he was wishing that all my innocence had not been lost. His wish would not come true. I knew that my words had been harsh and I reached over to take his hand and squeezed it gently. "I will try to understand." he assured me, resolve strengthening within him. "I know that it will be hard to hear." He then lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly….as though my fingers were made of glass.  
  
I pulled my hand away and did not speak anymore for a while after that. He might try…but he never really would understand. Was I glad to be with him? I didn't really know. It had felt good…to be held by him…but I did not want him looking at me. I didn't want anyone looking at me. I didn't know -why- I had agreed to stay with him for a year, only that it seemed to help Frodo…and that a part of me wanted to be with him. The other part of me wanted to flee…to run and hide and lick my wounds. I did not know how I could carry on like this.  
  
I had given my word, and I would keep it. However hard it was going to be, I would let him have his year.   
  
  
To be continued 


	2. Working with the Past

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CHAPTER Two : Working with the Past  
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The campfire crackled as Legolas and I sat watching it, the horses had needed a rest, and I'll admit, I was getting a bit sore from riding. I leant against a nearby rock, and did not sit next to him, though he sat close to me, watching me all the time. I was drinking some of the wine that we had brought with us for the journey, my hood pulled down low. We barely spoke, and I knew it was worrying him.  
  
I didn't really have any words of reassurance for I did not know where my feelings were going. He rose after poking at the fire with a stick and came over to crouch down next to me.  
  
"Merilas. I'm going for a walk…will you be alright?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch my shoulder.  
  
I nodded, not looking at him…that way I didn't have to see his expression. "Yes." I pulled my cloak around me, but I was not really cold, I just…wanted to shut him out…shut out everything around me. I stared at the fire, and when I looked up again, he was off.   
  
I sighed, leaning back again, my gaze rose from the fire to the sky, it was odd…seeing all the stars sparkling down. It was a clear sky and the moon was bright. What could I do though? I didn't want what he wanted right now. I couldn't… I drew my knees close to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs gazing up at the sky. "Elbereth, what is it you want from me?" I asked the stars, but received no answer.  
  
I closed my eyes…always a mistake really…for that was when the images came back to haunt me. I felt my forehead perspire a little for the back of my neck was tingling, I could almost feel Shagrat…his clawed fingers…on my shoulder. I cringed. His hands on any part of me had always made me shiver. He had a way of looking at me that made me feel as though I belonged to him. I couldn't shake the feeling, even though he was dead. I could still hear his laughter…still smell his breath.  
  
I struggled…as I always did…but he held my arm. "No…no…" I cried out…then I opened my eyes, and it was not Shagrat…but Legolas…that was in my view. The Prince was staring at me in confusion and hurt as he tried to figure out what was going on. It took a while for me to focus and see him.   
  
He touched my face and I shivered…then he drew me into his arms and held me. I didn't cry…I was beyond that, but I let him hold me. I let him try and comfort me, but I knew that it was little…that it was only a first step in a long process. He tilted my chin so that I had to look into his eyes if I opened mine.  
  
"You're safe now." he promised me gently. "I won't let anything happen to you."  
How could he promise something like that? He didn't know what the future held, none of us really did. I didn't know if I trusted myself to be happy…to let him make me happy. I didn't know if I could give him what he wanted. He smiled at me then…as he gazed at me. How he could stand to look at me…I didn't know.  
  
"Legolas…" I tried to speak but he put a finger to my lips.   
  
"Shh." he shook his head, "Its alright, you don't have to talk about it." he smiled warmly. He leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips without any pressure, just a feather light touch. There was no urgency to the kiss, nor expectations, nor demands…he simply just kissed me. "Just know that you're safe." he continued to smile and then held me as I looked away in confusion.  
  
"I don't know why you want to do this…I can't…" I began softly, as he cradled me. "I.."  
  
"Just take your time…" His soft voice was filled with patience that I knew he wished he didn't have to demonstrate. His self-control was legendary in Mirkwood. I knew that he would never force me or ask me to do anything. He knew he only had a year with me, and it was just a fleeting moment in time to an elf. An hour…in a lifetime.  
  
That particular hour though…was everything. I also knew that he was sacrificing a lot to even have that. For he would stay behind here when I left, and he would endure. I wished that I didn't have to do that to him, but he did not seem to want it any other way. He was glad of that hour.  
  
"Time…" I echoed the word, and my eyes did not close as I lay my head against his shoulder, listening to the beating of his heart. I had never even…well…"Legolas…?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I don't know what to say…how to act…what …you want…"  
  
"I want nothing." he said after a short pause and a slight intake of breath. "I can live just being with you…"  
  
"I'm afraid…I don't know if I can face them…at home…"  
  
"Father wishes to see you…and there are many there who would welcome that you are safe." Legolas' voice was calm and steady, and I wished I had half of his control.  
  
"I did terrible things…" I whispered.   
  
"You had no choice." he countered softly, "You must not think of things like that again, Merilas. That is the past. It has nothing to do with us now…"  
  
"But it has everything to do with us…" I looked back up at him, "Everything…"  
  
He sighed softly and continued to hold me. "What you have and have not done does not change what I feel for you, Meri. I swore long ago to you, yet you did not know. Things happen…life happens…It doesn't make a difference."  
  
"If you knew…if…If I told you you wouldn't say that…" I shook my head. "I have done things, Legolas, that would make your blood run cold with hatred of me…."  
  
"Nothing that you could have done would do that. Nothing…" He fixed his eternal gaze on me, holding mine without a doubt in his mind. "I will always love you."  
  
"Will you." I doubted that….but I did not voice my opinion just then. I knew he wasn't ready to hear the things that had happened…what I had done. He was not ready…I didn't know if he'd -ever- be ready.   
  
"Yes." his jaw set in determination.   
  
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	3. No More Tasks

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CHAPTER Three : No more tasks.  
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Shortly after, I lay in his arms, wrapped as secure as I would ever be. We were not sleeping, for that is not the way of the elves, but resting. I knew what he wanted from me, I just did not know if I could give it to him. To feel pleasure was not something that I thought myself capable of feeling and I did not want to disappoint him. It did feel nice to be in his arms. But it felt …fragile.  
  
I don't know how to really describe it. I felt safe…but also felt that it couldn't last because of what had happened to me. He stirred, his fingers lacing through my hair and stroking my head gently.   
  
"Legolas…I'm sorry." I whispered softly. \  
  
He smiled and looked down at me with a soft expression, "Sorry for what?"  
  
"I don't know…what to do…" I looked away from him and buried my face in his chest.  
  
"Its alright." he nodded gently. "Merilas..you don't have to do anything. Just be with me, that's all I want. And be happy. You don't have to live in the past. Just…" he tilted my chin up. "I know you've suffered, and I know that you think there is nothing that you can give me. Being here…right now…is more than enough."  
  
He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. At first I stiffened, not entirely sure I wanted this right now. He was patient though as his lips caressed mine. My mind was swirling. Part of me wanted it, but the other part of me wanted to run away. He was gentle and did not press with the kiss. As his tongue ventured to entwine with my own I began to shudder….I couldn't help it…visions were flooding my brain…The kiss lasted longer than others that he had given me, however, and he pulled away instantly when he felt me tremble.   
  
"Legolas…" I shuddered. "Its only that….I remember…I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me…"   
  
"I know." he sighed and took me back into his arms letting me rest against him. I didn't cry…just lay there. I could not get the image out of my head of the first night as a prisoner of the orcs. He rubbed his hand against my shoulder, trying to calm me down.  
  
"I'm afraid of facing your father…and the others." I blurted out. "What am I going to say? How do I face people that I betrayed…"  
  
"You betrayed no one, Merilas." he shook his head.  
  
I disagreed, "I betrayed all elves, Legolas. I killed…I did not prevent others from hurting…I…killed in cold blood, Legolas. My master…" I shivered. "He was not armed when I killed him." suddenly it all began to pour out. "I…I didn't feel anything. I just wanted him to be dead. For everything…for what he'd done to Frodo, for what he'd done to me…for the others that were captured and didn't survive. I…was glad when he died. I planned it, Legolas. It was not an accident…"  
  
I felt him grow a little stiff in shock but he relaxed, stroking my hair gently. "Shhh…its alright. I know it may seem like a betrayal." he began.."But you had no choice…"  
  
"I did have a choice." I insisted. "I didn't have to kill him. But I did. My hands are tainted not only with Orc blood, Legolas. There were people who came to the tower that he made me…deal with. Frodo was the only one who made me feel again. I…."  
  
"Merilas…listen to me." The Prince held my chin so I had to look directly at him. "What you did when you were a prisoner was not your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault. You were pushed to your limits…and even with elves…even with us…there is a breaking point. No matter what you did to survive…I'll not judge you. If you had not survived..I don't know what I would have done. So many times I thought you might be dead…and then…when Frodo said you were in that Tower, I thought for sure you must have been killed with the others. You have suffered so much, my love. I can't begin to grasp what they did to you when even…when even a kiss will bring back memories of terror. I will be patient and go step by step. You have nothing to fear from me. Our people will understand."  
  
"Our people…" I sighed. Were they really my people anymore? I knew tongues that I would never have learned before. I knew of plants used for poison that could be used for healing. I knew more about the land of Mordor than any of my relations or any elf ever would. "Legolas…"  
  
He nodded gently, caressing my cheek. My skin must have felt very rough against his fingers.   
  
"Legolas, I will try."  
  
"I know you will, Merilas. And that's all I ask." he assured me softly.  
  
I wished then for some reason that that was not all I had to do. It felt strange…not being told what to do. It didn't feel…normal. I had grown so accustomed to being ordered around and to having daily tasks…I wasn't used to this. It was like being a fish out of water. I didn't even know how to try. I nestled against him, gazing up at the stars as our horses grazed in the field. When would I know what to do?  
  
I couldn't answer that question, nobody really could. 


	4. Nerves

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CHAPTER Four : Nerves  
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We had stopped at an Inn for lunch on the way and I did my best to keep my hood over my face. Legolas was clearly not happy about it. People were always coming up to him because he was no well known in Middle Earth. I picked at my dinner, gazing at it without much of an appetite. I wondered how Frodo was dealing with things while Legolas was talking with a comrade in arms who had fought with him in the last battle with Sauron. My mind began to wander and went back to the tower as it often did.   
  
I spent so many years there believing I'd never be anywhere else that it felt odd…being outside….eating a plate of regular food and hearing laughter and songs and general happiness. It was so different from screams and the constant moving of chains and equipment.  
  
Would it have been any different had Legolas been the one captured and not I? I watched him and didn't think so, he would have found a way out. He wouldn't have let the Orcs keep him prisoner for long. He was strong and quick. I had the disadvantage of not being well-trained at the time…and having to learn in captivity.  
  
Legolas had not done much more than kiss me yet. He knew I was uncomfortable with anything else. My body had so long been out of my control that I was not used to wanting or needing anyone. I thought back to the night before when we had started to do more than a kiss…but I had frozen.  
  
I closed my eyes, remembering the incident clearly.  
  
He had been kissing my neck…his fingers playing down my arms, and then working to unlace my dress. His delicate hands had moved underneath the material…and then I had felt him take one of my breasts. His soft fingers moved in almost slow motion, trailing over it. His kisses were intoxicating…they nearly succeeded in making me forget everything. I could feel his need for me in every movement he made. He was carefully working forward, slowly and naturally. He was doing his best not to push me…everything about him was as gentle as a summer breeze.   
  
But at that moment, I closed my eyes, and tried with all my heart to respond to his touch without allowing the past to consume me. It did not work...my nerves were both enflamed and terrified. I lay there underneath him, and I didn't move, my hands had fallen away from where they had been…laced through his hair and I couldn't do anything. I hadn't willed this to happen, or wanted it to stop. I desperately wanted him to continue, but I couldn't think. I couldn't react…and above all…I couldn't erase the feeling of disgust from my heart.  
  
At first he didn't notice…he was caught up in the moment, but gradually it began to sink in. He looked up at me, and searched my eyes….not understanding what it was he did wrong. Without another word…he'd simply laced my dress back up…and had taken me in his arms…allowing me to lie there without any further pressure. I knew that he possessed great amounts of control. He was a legend for it…but I never knew that a male could have done what he did.   
  
I knew it was difficult for him…I had felt him doing what he could to control his breathing and his own desire. He'd done it for me, though…and he never once asked me why. I do not believe that he really understood. When I looked back at him a little while later he had an unreadable expression in his eyes. He seemed angry and sad…but not at me. I thought after a while…I had an idea what he was angry about. He was frustrated because he did not have the satisfaction of dealing with those who had done this to me.   
  
Legolas leaned over and touched my arm gently when his friend went away, "Are you alright?" They were the first words we had spoken to each other since that time. "You're not eating…do you need to rest? They have rooms here…"  
  
I looked up and met his eyes. He smiled at me gently and I knew then that he would really do just about anything to make sure that I was comfortable. I shook my head and didn't answer. I did not know really what to say to him. I knew he wanted me to talk to him…to tell him about everything that had happened to me…so he could understand…but I couldn't. I didn't want him to know…it would hurt him far more than me not being able to respond.  
  
"Are you sure?" he tried his best not to look like it was bothering him, smiling. He sipped from his glass of wine watching me carefully.  
  
"I'm sure." I said at last…for the first time that day I smiled back at him gravely….but it was a smile. "Legolas…I'm fine…just….nervous…."  
  
"About what?" he moved his hand to lay over mine, holding it gently.  
  
"We're so close to home now….I…I'm sorry about last night…" I looked at him and since I couldn't read his expression, then I looked away.  
  
"Don't be sorry." he assured me. "And don't be afraid. Thranduil is ready to welcome you home as I am. Merilas everything will be alright." he smiled and lifted my hand to his lips kissing it gently. "Trust me."  
  
I wished I could do that…trust again…it was so hard to even consider letting go of the past as it had such a hold on me. "I wish it was that easy."  
  
Legolas took a deep breath, this was hard for him…he knew he did not have that much time with me…and I was moved by his next words; so moved that my heart leapt into my throat and I could not take my eyes from his. "Take your time. …all the time you need. I can wait…and it does not need to happen at all."   
  
I knew what he meant…and I smiled then…a real smile this time. I nodded and we finished our meal in silence.   
  
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	5. Love is Blind

Warning : Light harlequin style sex in this chapter.  
  
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CHAPTER FIVE : Love is Blind  
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I was beginning to be more used to his presence as the days passed. Legolas had a way about him that was soothing and calm. He never once raised his voice or tried to push me in any way. We stopped for breakfast early one morning in a glade just a day away from Mirkwood. I lay in the grass while he prepared some fruit and bread. The sun was still low in the sky but it was going to be a warm day. I lay back and looked up at the white clouds as they drifted by.   
  
Legolas came over with the plates and set them down. He sat, his arms resting on his knees…watching me. I could feel that he wanted to talk to me…but he did not know where to start.   
  
"What is it?" I asked him softly, taking a mellon piece and chewing on it absently. The sweet nectar was welcome in this new feeling of freedom.  
  
"I don't know what to say…other than it feels so good to have you here…" he reached over and fingered my hair gently…unfortunately…this caused my hood to fall away. I lifted my hand to push it back but he stopped me. "Don't…"  
  
I shivered. "Legolas…" Uncertainty flickered in my eyes and I could barely face him.   
  
"You're beautiful, Rose…" he leaned over…as though to kiss me…but I turned away from him, pulling my hood back. I leant on one side, and continued to eat.   
  
"I'm not beautiful and you know it, Legolas." I said coldly. "You have not seen the rest of my body either. You know little of what they did. "  
  
I couldn't see his expression…but I felt something. He was watching me. When I glanced back at him…there was anger in his gaze that I hadn't expected to see. "I wish…" he held a piece of fruit in his hand, but was loathe to eat it…tossing it aside. "I wish I could have killed him. The one who did this to you…"  
  
"I killed him." I told him suddenly. "He was unarmed at the time…and I plunged my dagger into his vitals, slicing him up and across the throat. I watched as he lay there…in his own blood…twitching. I planned his death. After what he had done to Frodo…I couldn't bear to have him…touch me again." I looked away because I couldn't bear to see the disgust in his eyes when he realized I had taken a life in such a vicious way. When he didn't speak…I continued…"He…wanted me to bear his children. But by the grace of Elbereth…I never…became pregnant." I paused…but the words were coming out in a rush…and I couldn't stop them any more than I could breathe. "Do you understand now, Legolas? He made me his…in every way that a slave could be controlled. I heard him talking…I heard him that day…He had been talking about what they had done to Frodo…and…I couldn't let him do it anymore. I couldn't let him hurt anyone." I trembled…my heart was pounding…but I needed him to know. I was afraid to look at him…afraid to see his eyes.  
  
I took another deep breath and removed my hood. "You know what he did to my face…" I shivered…."But you don't know yet what he did to my body…" I began to unbutton the high dress and stand. He didn't say a word…but I could feel his eyes on me.   
  
My hands trembled as I tried to undo the buttons, and it felt like an eternity. Finally…the tunic was no longer secure on me and I let it fall. I heard him try to stifle a sharp intake of breathe. "He was not satisfied with owning my face…he wanted more." I pulled my hair away and stood in the morning sun.   
  
To explain completely…would be as difficult as reliving what had happened. My body had been pierced in many painful areas…holes were still healing where flesh had been permanently damaged. There were scars on my back from whips…and then the harsh paint that they used still stained my skin.  
  
He rose unsteadily. I knew he hadn't been expecting this…but how could he not have…my nose had five holes in it where he had attached a chain of rings. Orcs had a fixation with jewelry and impossible places to wear it.  
  
He stepped closer to me and reached out to cup my cheek in his hand. "You are beautiful, Rose…" he choked on his anger, trying to keep himself in control as he dragged me into his arms. "I know he hurt you. I also know what I would give…for it to have been me and not you…" He tilted my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes. I was surprised by what I saw there. It wasn't pity…it wasn't desire…it wasn't love…it was honesty. He brushed his lips briefly against mine then bent down to pick up my tunic.  
  
He helped me into it…but then as his fingers lightly brushed my breasts as he began to help me button it…they lingered….and he stopped. I felt something building inside of me that I hadn't felt…since that night I had been captured. Longing for his hands…a desire for his lips…He searched my eyes trying desperately to control himself. In the end…it was me who pulled his lips to mine.   
  
The kiss was filled with a passion that I cannot explain. It jumped from the very trees themselves, washing over us like a tidal wave. He needed me as though a drowning man did air. We collapsed slowly to the ground and he braced himself against the grass. His lips trailed from my lips down my jaw…and my neck. Light kisses filled with fire in each intense touch. He struggled out of his own shirt and vest and tossed them to the side, only once pulling away from me to help my arms out of the tunic we had partially tried to put on. The whole experience was building into a full encounter. I could feel his need hard and strong, and his desire filled with more than just lust. He wanted to please me. To give -me- pleasure. To make me happy…  
  
He wouldn't let me touch him more than to caress his hair, or back, wanting only…to ease my pain. He easily slid my pants away…and worked his own off. I let him do the work he wanted to do. All the while he would look back at me, making sure it was not hurting me.  
  
I didn't really know…I only knew that what he was doing…I wanted. His fingers and lips made magical work against my skin in places that had never before been touched in such a way. Finally…he smiled when I gave in to the throws of pleasure…realizing the touch of male for the first without being afraid or disgusted. It was not long before he entered me, and this had been the moment I had been dreading. I didn't know if I could handle it. But…he had prepared me…as others had not…and I felt no pain…Surprised…I gazed at him for a long moment as he rested right there…stroking my hair. Then he began to move, and not in the harsh way that I had dealt with before…but…slow…and then faster. He took his time…building a sensation that I had never experienced.   
  
When it was over…he lay with me in his arms, underneath the morning sun. I curled next to him, with my head in the crook of his arm. I felt…different. But not changed.   
  
"Do you understand now?" he asked softly, stroking my hand.  
  
"I'm not sure…" I answered as gently as I could manage. "Legolas…one act does not erase everything…"  
  
"I know." he sighed. "I know it doesn't. But no matter what happened to you…No matter what you did…or what they did to you…I won't hate you…I love you Merilas…my Rose…I wish you could see that."  
  
"I wish I could forget…everything else…" I began to cry…"But I can't…not yet…"  
  
"Its alright…" He nodded…"Just…let me try to show you…"  
  
"I want to, Legolas…I'm trying."  
  
"I know. Shhh….rest now…"  
  
And I closed my eyes…and tried not to let dreams take me to places I did not want to be. For here was where I wanted to be…but it wasn't where every part of me was. I was crying…because I realized that I had let him do what he did…without resistance. And I didn't know if what I felt was real…  
  
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	6. A less than perfect arrangement

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CHAPTER SIX : A Less than Perfect Arrangement  
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Mirkwood was as I remembered it, and I was welcomed home by those who had known me. They were friends of old, and people that had taken care of me. I was not unhappy with the reception. I was more unhappy with the feeling of being among my own kind again. It was odd…a sensation I didn't really understand. Things hadn't changed in 15 years, but attitudes were different. They were a bit more open than they used to be when talking about other races. I just felt…out of place.  
  
I wandered through the halls one day, a few days later, not really sure what exactly it was I was looking for. Legolas had been in meetings all day and I had finally decided to get out on my own. I still wore a hood and had not yet visited the healers. I was uncertain as to which step to take or what road to follow. He made it sound so easy…like all I would have to do was ask for it, and it would be done. But I knew that was never the case. Not when it came to me. I had too much that I had to deal with and more still that I didn't want to even go into.   
  
"Merilas?" a small voice came from down the corridor and I turned to see who it was. An old friend…she was the daughter of a Lord, her name; Cathasia. She and I had never spoken much really, but we had worked  
  
I looked at her silently. It had become well known that I did not speak much anymore. She came up to me and smiled at me nervously. I could tell she had no idea what to say. "Hello." I nodded solemly and clasped my hands behind my back as I watched her thoughtfully.  
  
"I was told you had returned." she ventured. "We're all so happy that you have come back to us." It was one of the many typical responses that I'd had since Legolas brought me home. I smiled at her in response…though I must admit it wasn't the friendliest of smiles.…unfortunately I was having trouble with any enthusiasm about being home.  
  
She shifted from one foot to the other, probably trying to figure out what to say to me. I did not have anything real to offer in the way of communication. "Thank-you." I replied calmly.   
  
That did not deter her, and she continued to walk with me. "Merilas, I'd been wondering how you were…I confess I was a little surprised to hear about the wedding announcement so soon…" perhaps had I been a little less preoccupied with my own problems I might have seen the sly look she gave me.  
  
"Wedding? Who is getting married?" I asked, not really all that concerned with society gossip but at least it was something to say. I leant against a balcony railing. It overlooked a vast garden, part of Thranduil's sprawling home.   
  
"Oh…" she chuckled, "You don't need to hold out on me, we're old friends." She assured me. Were we now? I raised an eyebrow as she continued, "The Prince Legolas of course, I heard him talking with his father. There is to be a wedding soon."  
  
I caught my breathe, stopping to look at her directly. It had been so long since I'd been involved in society of any normal kind that I had forgotten how to pick out those who were telling truths and those who were seeking to spread mischief. "And…who is he marrying?"  
  
"Don't be silly!" she laughed, "You know who he's marrying. Its -you-." she took my arm, "We wondered because there are rumors that you don't intend to stay in Middle Earth, but now that you have made your decision we're all -Very- happy certainly…because it means that Mirkwood will have heirs."  
  
I scowled then shaking her away…"I don't know what you're…" I backed off, trying to sound normal. "I have to go, there's somewhere I must be. I will see you later at dinner." With that…I ran. I was not concerned with pride…I just wanted to know what was going on. How dare he tell people…I was not staying. I didn't want to be married. My head reeled. Was he thinking of pushing me into something I didn't want? I slowed down as I got to the royal chambers, and leant against the wall, thinking. Then I began to run. I felt trapped…and I needed to escape. I found the door to his chambers, it was ajar and I saw him in there. He looked around as he saw me and smiled.   
  
I let the door open all the way, and he walked towards me, taking my hand in his. He frowned when I pulled away from him. "What do you think you're doing, Legolas?" I asked him calmly.  
  
"Is something wrong?" his eyebrows shot up in confusion when I closed the door and stared at him coldly.  
  
"I'm not a trophy that you have won." I said angrily, my head was reeling from pent up emotion. "You can't just tell other people what I will and will not do."  
  
"What is this all about?" he tried to get me to sit down, but again I pulled away from him.  
  
"Don't touch me." I shook, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I turned away so that I could not see the pain in his eyes. "I heard…I heard that you were going to announce a wedding. Legolas, I -never- agreed to marry you. Ever. I'm -NOT staying."  
  
"Marry me…" Legolas repeated…"But…But I know that. I understand…."  
  
"You -DON'T-." I shrieked. "Or you wouldn't have told your father that you were going to announce our engagement!" I whipped around and saw the look on his face. The confusion set into comprehension and I took that as acknowledgement that he had indeed been going behind my back…trying to trap me. He wouldn't do that…he loved me…calm down…I tried to gain control over my emotions but the anger was building up so high that I couldn't think.  
  
"I never…" he stopped and then remembered something, apparently. "Merilas its not what you think. I would never force a marriage on you. I accept that you can't stay… My father was just giving me his blessing if you…did you overhear us?" He tried to put his hands on my shoulders to pull me too him.  
  
"No." I shook my head, "No…no its not true." I staggered away. "No…don't come near me." Emotions were churning in my heart as I tried to focus. It was impossible, the caged feeling was dominant and the idea of being trapped again was worse than anything I could possibly imagine. It was just the very idea that set off memories and built terror and fear in my mind. I looked at Legolas…and I saw Shagrat.  
  
"No!" I screamed and ran...and ran…I knew he was close behind me, but I was not going to let anyone trap me ever again. I kept running…out through the house…into the gardens..and beyond.  
  
… 


	7. Sacrifices

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CHAPTER SEVEN : Sacrifices  
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I hid quickly as Legolas came by, searching. I had run far into the woods…yet he still followed me. I wanted to get away…why didn't he understand? I couldn't stay here…not anymore. I saw him stand there and bend down to pick up something in the road, a bit of cloth from my dress. I realized that I was hardly prepared for traveling. He looked around, glancing up at the very tree I was in. I saw then the determination in his eyes, he wasn't going to stop looking. Just then…I felt the branch cracking and let out a cry as I plummeted down.   
  
Legolas reacted quickly, easily catching me. He'd known…somehow…that I was there. He braced himself against my weight, and held me steadily. He never ceased to amaze me with his ability to He tried to smile, but he was not sure how I was going to react. I put my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, shivering.  
  
"Meri…" he said at last. "What's wrong? What happened…?" he stroked my hair gently. "Why did you run away from me…?"  
  
"Legolas…" I refused to look at him, still with my head on his shoulder, I did not answer even one of his questions…"Why can't you let me go?" I shuddered and began to cry softly.   
  
He set my feet down, but still held me in his arms. "Because--Because I love you…you know that…something happened. Please talk to me?"   
  
"I need to go away from here." I told him finally. "I can't stay in Mirkwood. I can't give you what you want." I pulled away, standing as firmly as I could.  
  
"No." he shook his head, "No I don't accept that. Merilas. You promised me a year…we've barely been here a couple of weeks. What have I done?" he remained so earnest that I wondered how in the world I could even think of leaving…but I had to.  
  
"What have you done? You…you…want to bind me to you, Legolas. You want me …but…I can't…I can't do it. You don't understand. I'm broken…I can't just go back to a life that didn't exist for me for 15 years. There are things I have to do. I can't sit here and walk about the paths of Mirkwood like nothing happened. There is no one here that can even begin to understand what happened to me….even you." I looked at him straight in the eye then. It wasn't that I didn't love him…I did…It was just…I couldn't shut out what had been done to me much less erase memories for every day that I looked in a mirror…I remembered.  
  
"I'm not trying to force you into anything…" He took a deep breath, "All I want is time with you…that's all…Please…believe me."  
"You're not telling me the truth, Legolas." I shook my head, "I know that you and your father are planning a ceremony. A wedding."  
  
He looked stunned…his eyebrows knit together anxiously, "H-how…"  
  
"How did I know? I was informed by someone that once called herself my friend." I looked away, so it was true. "Even in the two weeks that I was home, already I heard things that have convinced me my place in Elvish Society is finished. I cannot be a Princess, Legolas…and I cannot be your wife."  
  
"But…we are bound together. You can't." he insisted suddenly, taking my arm. "You can't just throw that away. I've loved you since the day we first met. I've known…I've known what you mean to me since then. And I know you feel the same. Why are you denying it? Why are you walking away from us? You could be happy here…I will make you happy…just give me a chance…you can't leave…please…" he took my other arm. …then he blurted out. "You belong to me."  
  
I stiffened, my heart felt like a thousand needles had pricked it and a cold chill ran down my spine as a memory sprang into my mind.   
  
---flashback---  
  
Frodo lay on the ground while Snaga leered at me. "Why shouldn't I?" the Orc spat out. "He belongs to Shagrat now as much as you do for as long as you are in his Tower." His clawed hands lifting up Frodo's body, digging into the hobbit's flesh…and slinging him over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes. Frodo cried out…moaning in pain as blood trickled from his wounds. "He has information we need."  
  
"No….don't….not him…" I cried out. "He's too weak…he won't last…please…"  
  
He backhanded me across the face and I fell to the floor, crying. "If you were mine, She-Elf. You'd be dead for that. "But you belong to Shagrat…consider yourself lucky."  
  
Lucky…I stared at Frodo…"Frodo be brave…"  
  
He gazed at me through bleary eyes…not understanding what was happening. The look was filled with confusion and pain…he had no idea what was about to happen to him. I wished with all my heart at that point that it was me instead of him.  
  
"Snaga…" I said, stepping up and shivering. "Put him down and I'll do whatever you want. Let him have more hours to rest…"  
  
He stopped and looked back at me, "Will you…and your master?"  
  
I lifted my chin. "He'll not know." The other orc guard was gone at the time. "I will say nothing…just give Frodo a few more hours…"  
  
The orc dropped the hobbit unceremoniously down on the floor. "I accept this bargain." he stepped towards me, and I focused on the hobbit…who lay curled up on the floor, his eyes wide open as he watched in fear and horror.  
  
---end flashback---  
  
"I belong to no one." my words were ice-cold as I pulled my arm away. "No one."   
  
Legolas stared at me…and I saw pain flash in his eyes as what I was saying sunk in. I could tell that he didn't understand…he never would. "What…" he sighed finally. "What do you want me to do?" he lifted his hand in helpless submission, stepping back to give me the space I wanted.  
  
"Go home." I told him, my expression dull and empty. "Go home and don't follow me. There are things I must do."  
  
He looked away, steeling his own expression and regaining his self control. His voice equally flat he responded, "Will you return to fulfill your promise?"  
  
"In truth…I do not know." I turned. "I'm going to get a horse…and proper clothes. I…I should never have come back here." My heart trapped in an ice cold grip that wouldn't let go…I began to walk away…not looking back.   
  
"Merilas…" Legolas called my name hesitantly.   
  
I stopped, but did not turn around. "Legolas. I am no longer an elf. This is what you do not understand. I am not bound by your ways. Don't follow me."  
  
And when I finally turned around he was gone. I sighed, it was for the best. There were places I had to go…things I had to see…Frodo…Legolas would never understand…but Frodo would. I needed to talk to him.  
  
---  
  
Legolas watched Merilas from the forest as she prepared to depart. He was ready himself…and he vowed that he would never lose her again. He didn't understand why she was doing this…but he wouldn't let her vanish again. He followed at a safe distance…but never let his presence be known.  
  
---  
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	8. Arrival at Bag End

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Chapter 9 -- Arrival at Bag End  
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FRODO'S POV  
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I lay in bed, gazing at the ceiling. I was finally beginning to feel better for once, and my thoughts were drifting towards my caregiver in ways that I hadn't expected. For so long, she had been at my side, patient and unyielding in her care. She was everything I could have wanted in my life and more…but…I didn't know if it was enough. I lit a candle and ran my hands along the edge of a book, I knew I wasn't going to get any more sleep that night.   
  
"Frodo?" her voice came from the hallway door and she smiled at me. My heart lifted. Throughout the entire ordeal with the Ring I always knew that I at least had her to come back to. I had her to hold me when I needed to be held…I had her to tell me that everything was going to be alright.   
  
"I'm alright." I assured her gently.  
  
"There was a light on in here…" She drew her robe about her a little tighter as she came over to my bed, her feet soft against the floor, making not a sound. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay." She was carrying a glass of apple-juice…chilled.  
  
"I was just going to read…I couldn't really sleep anymore." I sighed a bit, and put the book down again. "I didn't want to worry you."  
  
"I brought you something to drink." She put the glass down on the table, "I thought you might like some." as she studied me a little I think she could tell I had changed.   
  
I swallowed nervously. Lately…it had been difficult to concentrate with her in the room. There were things…things I wanted to do. "Thank-you." I smiled, brushing at my curls that refused to stay where I wanted them to.   
  
She sat on the edge of the bed and I gazed at her in the candlelight. She smiled as I reached for the glass of juice and sipped. She tucked the covers about me gently and our hands touched. I felt a jolt through my system and coughed slightly, putting the glass down. My body began to stiffin in places I was unsure of. I blushed, cursing myself for not keeping control. I quickly looked away and took a few deep breaths.  
  
She didn't seem to notice, "You're looking much better these days, Frodo. I'll warrant you'll want to go for a walk tomorrow?" She felt my neck and my forehead, "Certainly no fevers now and you feel quite normal. I'm very glad to see it."  
  
Why was my heart suddenly feeling heavy…if…if I got to the point where Sam could easily take care of me on his own…she might go back to Rivendell. She might leave me…Why couldn't I just -tell- her….and ask her what I wanted to. "Gail?" my heart thumping, I looked back at her.  
  
I could not tell what was in her eyes, they were so strong and as blue and clear as a bright summer sky. I swallowed, my gaze falling to her lips, parted and full. I couldn't deny it any longer. I knew what I wanted.  
  
"Yes Frodo?" she asked me in that serene way she had when she knew I wanted something that I was afraid to ask for. When her lips moved, I saw her tongue, soft and pink. I wished…I started at where my thoughts were taking me. --Frodo Baggins…pull yourself together.--  
  
"I…" It wasn't right to want something like this, not when she wasn't my wife. I couldn't…after everything she'd done for me. I had to…I had to do this right. If I was going to do it at all. My instincts however, overruled my head at that particular moment and I reached out to caress her cheek and then closed my eyes wistfully.  
  
Then something happened that I didn't expect. She…kissed me. I felt her lips on mine…tentative and unsure at first…but as mine began to accept what was happening they opened up for me…I slid my hand around to the back of her neck and pulled her closer. I felt sensations shooting through me that I could barely control….and a strength that I didn't know I had.  
  
She gave a small cry of surprise at the force that I had used as my senses raged against my mind. Stop it Frodo…I felt the voice of reason tingling against my brain. Stop it now…its not fair to her…I opened my eyes and gasped, letting go of her, sweat building on my brow. "I'm…I'm so sorry…I don't know what…came over me…"  
  
She sat there, trembling slightly. I had repulsed her…that must be why she looked so startled. How could I have been so stupid?? I looked away, cursing my lack of control. I was confused, my whole mind was jumbled with unexpected feelings I wasn't familiar with.  
  
"Frodo." she said at last, calm and serene as usual. So beautiful…as delicate as a Rose…she was so far above me. So much more than I…could deal with. "Frodo its alright. What's the matter?" she reached over and laid her hand over mine.  
  
"No…" I shook my head, "No its not alright…I … shouldn't have done that.. Please…forgive me?…I'm…very tired" I lied…trying hard not to let her see how confused I was…"I need to be alone…" I didn't want to -be- alone…but I had to sort out my feelings. I wanted her -there-. I wanted her arms around me.  
  
"Frodo…" she laughed a little, a sparkling sound that made me feel as small as a mouse for sending her away. "As you wish, Frodo." she leaned over and kissed my forehead tenderly. She walked towards the door of my bedroom, and glanced behind her, "But if you recall….Tinw Melleth…*I* kissed *You*."  
  
Someday I was going to have to confess what I wanted…or it would drive me crazy. I couldn't deal with it though…I didn't think that I was -capable- of loving someone else. So much had happened…I felt…cheated of life…and I wondered…I wondered if I was ever going to get over what had happened.  
  
There was a knock on my door shortly after…was she back? I glanced hopefully, "Come in…"  
  
No…it was Sam. I tried not to look as disappointed as I felt. "Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Frodo…but it seems we've a visitor." Sam yawned, scratching the back of his neck. He'd probably just come from his wife…Rosie. I tried not to look jealous.  
  
"A visitor? At this time of night?" I opened my mouth in surprise.  
  
Behind him, I saw a figure, stooping just slightly in the corridor outside. The figure pulled back the hood of her cloak and smiled at me. As the light shone on her face, I forgot entirely about the situation that had presented itself only a scant 30 minutes ago. ."Merilas!"   
  
* * * 


	9. Someone who understands

Frodo's POV  
  
"Hello, Frodo…I'm sorry to bother you so late." Merilas stood in the doorway with Sam. "I quite forgot what time it was.."  
  
I looked at her with wide blue eyes, frowning faintly. Why had she come to the Shire? She was supposed to be with Legolas. "Its alright." I smiled ruefully, "In truth, I was up anyway. Sam…can you show her to my study? I'll be along shortly."  
  
Sam nodded grogily and led Merilas away. I quickly pulled on some clothes, but my mind was not on my late night visitor. My mind was fixed on Gailethil. Why had I pushed her away? I ran a comb through my hair, settling my nerves a little. I was still wishing that she'd come back…that she hadn't taken my words seriously.  
  
Finally, I was ready and I ventured out into the hall. Sam had already retired to his and Rosie's room for the night, and I looked at Gail's door, it was open slightly. I knew she was in there. I knocked on it softly and she looked up from her desk, "Come in Frodo."  
  
Her hair was spilled out around her, and she was framed by flickering candlelight in a soft glow. I did not go in, but held the door open slightly. "I'm sorry…about…before…" I began, clearing my throat. "We…have a visitor."  
  
"I know." she smiled kindly. I was not sure which statement she meant that in response to, so I decided it was in response to both. I could never tell what was on her mind when she looked at me the way she was doing now. I didn't know what to say. It seemed to me that whatever I did say would be the wrong thing. I hadn't done anything right since we came back to the shire.  
  
"Are you well enough to be out of bed, Frodo?" She asked me softly, changing the subject.  
  
"I'm feeling better, thank-you…I was wondering…I'm going to go talk to Merilas, but I'm a little hungry…and…" I stumbled over the request, my eyes fixed on hers hopefully. She wasn't my wife…I had no right to ask her to do anything.  
  
She rose from her desk and made her way to the door. "I'll be glad to." A simple statement, and she slipped past me, heading to the kitchen. I watched her go, a lump forming in my throat. Why was it so hard for me to admit what I wanted? I should know by now how she feels. I knew what she was willing to give up for me. I just…I didn't think I could ask it of her. So much had happened…and though I had recovered, I would never be strong and healthy. The Night on Weathertop had settled my future.  
  
I headed into my study, shoving my hands in my pockets, Merilas was already seated and appeared to be drinking from a glass of Brandy. I smiled at her and she gave me a hug. It was good to see her. We both sat down by the fire and I leaned into one of my chairs while she sat on the rug by the fire. "Its good to see you, Merilas…"  
  
"And you," she smiled. "I expected you…" she began. "I'm surprised…Frodo…I thought I'd find you with her. I was a little shocked when Sam said he'd take me to you, and that you were awake."  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I could say the same thing. Where's Legolas?"  
  
"I left him…in Mirkwood." Merilas sighed, causing my eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. I was certain that things would work out between them.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I..It wasn't his fault really…" she shook her head, "I …" she drank more of the Brandy and smiled wanly. "I couldn't stay there…Frodo. May I stay a while here with you? I need to collect my thoughts…and…"  
  
"Of -course-…though you might find it a bit small in here…" I nodded vigorously, "I think I know what you mean…sometimes I feel like that to." I loved the shire…but I was so different from everyone else now. So far apart from Hobbit Life. "Because…because of what happened."  
  
"I know, Frodo." she nodded slowly, "That's why I came to you…I thought maybe…we could talk. I didn't -want- to leave…I wanted to stay….but…everything is so different now. I felt so out of place. Everything that I used to take joy in is changed." she sighed and leaned on the pillow she was lying against. "I keep thinking about….that…even when I know I am safe…and loved…I…"  
  
I caught my breath…I knew what she was talking about, because I hadn't escaped it either, the nightmares….the pain…the images that flashed in my head were enough to keep me up long hours. "Gandalf told me that my wounds will take time to heal, but that I might bear some of them for as long as I live. I think with you…it's the same way. Its why you found me alone tonight…I…she's here…and …and…I love her…but…"  
  
"I know…" Merilas looked at me, understanding. For once…someone understood. Merilas had gone through what I had. She had gone through it for 15 years. I could only imagine what was going through -her- mind and the nightmares that she had. "I don't know what to do Frodo…I needed to talk to someone who understood."  
  
"I'm not the best person to give advice." I smiled a little, "I have not quite made the wisest of choices in my life. But…you can stay here as long as you like, Merilas…I don't mind, and I'm sure no one else will. Bag End is a large Smial."  
  
At that moment, Gailethil came in bearing a tray of cinnamon tea, a loaf of raisin and apple bread with honey-butter, a pitcher of milk, a plate of blueberry muffins, and two bowls of hot tomato soup smothered with melted cheese and fresh bits of bread. She set the tray down, smiling as she did. She was kind and gentle in the few moments she was in the room, and before she left she gave me a kiss on the forehead, and squeezed Merilas' hand, "I'm glad you're here, Mellon." she said softly, and slipped out as unobtrusively as she had come in. I gazed at her in wonder, long enough that Merilas chuckled a little.  
  
"What you want is written all over your face, Frodo." my visitor laughed softly to my disgruntled expression. The arrival of food, of course…had shifted my attention to the platter. Though I had been feeling ill over the last few weeks, I was actually better now…and my stomach seemed to be enjoying the feel of solid food for once. It seemed Merilas was quite hungry herself and we soon began to eat the pleasant small meal leaving the conversation to pleasantries for the time being.   
  
* * * 


	10. Do you want me?

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AUTHOR'S NOTE : Switched to third person….it made the story easier to write.  
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After Gailethil left, Frodo glanced over at Merilas who was smiling at him in amusement, "What?" He half-grinned a little. He took a piece of the bread and buttered it fervently while she dipped a spoon into the soup.   
  
"Its perfectly obvious to me, little hobbit. But that's not what we were talking about." Merilas leaned back in her chair staring at the fire. She sighed, "I've been thinking seriously about going to Valinor, Frodo…about leaving these shores. I don't think that there is any way Legolas can help me…after what happened."  
  
Frodo sighed a little, disappointment showing in his small face. "He does love you, Merilas…"  
  
"I know…but …I can't simply change. What he doesn't understand is that even though I'm an elf...even though that was 15 years in a thousand…I will remember those years for the rest of my life. I won't be able to forget them. And still…images rise in my mind…and…I can't shake them out sometimes."  
  
"Fear and paranoia…" Frodo nodded, and took a bite of the bread, "I know what you mean…I keep doubting myself too. Every day of my life." He drew his legs up and tucked them under the chair as he ate. Merilas was always somewhat marveled by the flexible nature of the small creature. "And I was only there a couple of days…"  
  
"Yet still you'll remember it…as I will. How do deal with it Frodo? I thought that you would accept Arwen's offer to take her place…"  
  
"I was going to…" Frodo looked away and sighed a bit, "I really was. Then….then I remembered her, and I know that she does not want to leave Middle Earth…and I could not bear to part with her."  
  
"Yet you obviously don't share a bed…or do more than simply comfort her…Why Frodo?" Merilas asked softly. "I have had more with Legolas…but…"  
  
Frodo reddened…"I don't know how to…h-how to talk about things like this…" he shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Hobbits of the Shire are not as…free…as elves…with…with…" he stammered, not able to explain.  
  
Merilas laughed a little and took another spoonful of soup. "But you want to be. I see how you look at her Frodo."  
  
If he wasn't red before, Frodo was now. "H-how did you know…? I've been trying…trying to control myself. Its not right…" he shook his head quickly. "I'll have to be more careful…"  
  
"Why, Frodo? She obviously wants you…"  
  
"She does?" Frodo's eyes opened wide. "But…I'm so…so…"  
  
"So what Frodo?"  
  
"Different…small…" he sighed. "She needs someone other than me. I can't ask something like that of her."  
  
Merilas suddenly laughed, but not at Frodo, "You know, Frodo…I was just thinking the same thing myself about Legolas. Aren't we a pair…you and I?"  
  
The two of them smiled at each other and continued with the meal, though Frodo was not quite sure exactly what Merilas had been talking about. He was beginning to wonder if Merilas was right…if despite everything she would want him. He was hardly whole…he bit his lip glancing down at his hand and practically an emotional basket case at times. With her though…he felt comforted, he felt…like he was special. Maybe she really did want more…he blushed again at the idea.  
  
"Legolas followed me here, you know. He's probably somewhere outside as we speak." Merilas sighed, "He wanted me to marry him, Frodo…I just don't think…don't think that its possible. Because I can't…I can't be the wife he wants. I can't be the Queen of Mirkwood someday…I don't want that. I just want to…"  
  
"Run away and hide…" Frodo supplied softly… "I understand. I don't want to be a hero either…but everyone keeps telling me I am…and no one will leave me alone…" He took a sip of milk. "All I want is a quiet life now…where I can finish my own tale in peace and comfort…with…"  
  
"With Gailethil…why don't you ask her Frodo? I think in your case…it's a bit different than mine…"  
  
"No it isn't…I can't ask her to give up immortality for me, Merilas…I just can't do it." he shook his head, "No…no I'm happy with what we have…"  
  
"Don't you understand Frodo? She already has…"  
  
"What?…what do you mean?"  
  
"She gave it up a long time ago when she gave you her heart…" Merilas leaned over and took Frodo's hand. "She won't live after you've gone…can you not see that?"  
  
"She won't…but…" Frodo's eyes opened wide with surprise…he'd not even considered that. "But I thought that…that…"  
  
"She made her choice…and you accepting it one way or the other isn't going to change her fate, Frodo." Merilas smiled a little at the stunned expression in the little one's eyes. "So why don't you ask her? Tell her how you feel….everything that you feel…and what you want…"  
  
"I'll…I'll…but what about you, Merilas? You can't just leave Middle Earth…What about your love?…" Frodo tried desperately to change the subject.  
  
"I don't know, Frodo, I haven't made the decision. I wanted to come and talk to you first…because you were the only one I could think of who would understand. I suppose in the morning we can find Legolas, I'm sure he's around here somewhere…but you…you should go to her…don't wait for her to come to you. Don't wait Frodo…"  
  
Frodo stood up suddenly then, "You're right…your right Merilas…and I've been a fool…" he smiled a little. "We'll talk again in the moring?"  
  
"Yes, Mellon…and I expect to hear good tidings…" her eyes twinkled as Frodo rushed forward to give her a hug.   
  
"I'm glad you're here…even under the circumstances." he said earnestly as he made his way off.   
  
A little while later Gailethil heard a knock on her door and she looked up from her desk. Frodo stood there, uncertain…a little smile on his face.   
  
"What is it Frodo? Did you need something?" She sat as she usually did, quiet and fair…so beautiful in the candle light…and so precious. He swallowed, and entered the room…he'd never been in -her- room before. He shut the door and turned around again, a bead of sweat building on his forehead.   
  
"I…I…." he stammered, almost losing his nerve. She rose and made her way over to him, he watched her, his mouth running dry and his heart pounding.  
  
"Are you feeling unwell?" she laid a hand against his forehead and was surprised to find it slightly wet from perspiration. Not do to the fever of course. He took her hand and pulled it down.   
  
"No…" he shook his head, holding her hand. "No…Gail…" he took a deep breathe. "I want to…." he searched her eyes…unreadable…yet so soft and kind…he was losing his courage. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. "I want to…finish…but…but…"  
  
"Finish what, Frodo?" She raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding. She'd never seen him in such a nervous state.   
  
"First…tell me…" he trembled…."Tell me something….I…I'm sorry I'm not doing this right at all…I've never been good … at understanding. But…but…you know…You know that I love you, right?"  
  
"Of course I know Frodo…" she smiled warmly, "And I love you."  
  
Frodo's heart leapt, but he knew that…he just didn't know why she loved him. She'd told him that before, and she'd meant it. "Gailethil…Will you…." he stammered…"I know I don't have anything to offer…I know that…I'm just a hobbit…I'm not immortal…or beautiful and tall….or even…quite whole…but….but…I love you…."  
  
"Frodo…"  
  
"No…no let me get this out…" he shook his head and held both her hands, gazing up at her earnestly, "I do love you…and I…I will accept whatever you can give me…anything…just promise not to leave me…don't go away….even if you don't want to…"  
  
"Don't want to what, Frodo?" she smiled gently, leaning down a little.  
  
"Don't…" he closed his eyes and prayed to Elbereth… "Don't want to marry me…"  
  
* * *   
TBC. (HEHEHE) 


	11. The End

Hi Folks : At long last, the Interlude story is over. I have many things I'm writing right now and had to find the right words to tie all the ends together. I hope that this worksJ  
  
  
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CHAPTER 12 -- Interlude 2 -- Rating R -- FINAL CHAPTER  
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Legolas paused near the door, holding his hand against it gently. He knew Merilas was in Bag End…but he also knew the hour was very late indeed for hobbits if not for elves. He thought perhaps it better if he waited until the morning to announce his presence. The Prince of Mirkwood sighed and wandered over to the bench by the gate, leaning down to sit there. He had spent a great deal of time thinking about what had happened between him and Merilas and had come to the conclusion that he couldn't treat her as though nothing had happened. Deep in his heart…he did love her…but he also knew that he couldn't expect her to live a normal life and to return to the life of an elf.   
  
He hoped that she would understand when he told her that he meant to accompany her to the Gray Havens…to say goodbye. He wouldn't go with her to Valinor…but at least he would see her off. He'd contacted Gimli and the Dwarf was going to meet him at the Gray Havens in a few months. They'd discussed traveling together before and he felt that was his only recourse right now. Perhaps a life on the road would help him to let her go. He wanted to be with her…but he also knew that they bore different paths. Merilas could never return to a normal life and he didn't want to force her. So he waited where he was.  
  
Patience did pay off, for eventually…Merilas came from the direction of the garden, having apparently been out for a little walk. She spied the elf where he sat and did not move any closer, watching him curiously. She knew he had been following her…but she didn't know why.  
  
He smiled when he saw her and rose from the bench. "Merilas…" he bowed a little stiffly. He did not hold out his arms…nor did he look at her with anything other than a calm expression. He was keeping control...and holding himself together as best he could. It was not easy to accept that you had to let the only person you would ever love go. Especially when you had the rest of the ages to deal with without her. The blonde elf regarded her steadily, trying hard not to jump over to her side and pull her into his arms.   
  
Merilas smiled coolly, walking forward until there was merely a few feet between them, "You followed me here….." she raised her eyes to meet his own.   
  
"I had to." he shrugged simply, "I couldn't just let you come here… without … "  
  
"Without what, Legolas? You didn't have to come…I told you I was done with Mirkwood…" she turned away, her heart was slowly beginning to melt at the tremor in his voice, but she had made up her mind…and he would have to accept it.  
  
The Prince drew himself up steadily to his full height. He locked away his true desires and spoke only what he knew she wanted to hear…doing what he could to remain cool and calm. "Without telling you that I understand." he cleared his throat, "It took me a while to accept it…but I understand. I can't fight ghosts Merilas…and I know they haunt you still. Valinor…" he swallowed. "Valinor is the only place which will heal you. If that is where you must go…that is…that is where I will take you. But I can't go myself…not all the way."  
  
Merilas looked up but not back quite yet…He was letting her go…finally. She turned around then to catch his eyes, "Legolas…I'm sorry…" she whispered softly and went to him. She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her and held her. "I'm sorry it has to be this way…"  
  
"I'm sorry too…but some things are what they are." The prince sounded very much like his father then as he stroked her hair, "I love you…but I know where you must go…its as simple as that. I will think of you there…and be happy that you will find the healing you need."  
  
"I wish there was another way." She sighed, "But too much happened to me…it cannot be fixed with a kiss or the wave of a healing spell….Legolas…I love you too…" she smiled then…for the first time in a long while, her lips came free and the expression shown was true. "I think though…before we leave…there is something that we will need to attend together…will you?"  
  
"What is it?" Legolas smiled back at her curiously. He'd done the right thing…he knew it. Then why was his heart so heavy? She was happy…he ran his fingers through her hair and prayed that Elbereth could help her in the Undying Land with far more ease than could he here…  
  
"Frodo and Gailethil…he's asking her tonight…finally." she smiled looking at the hobbit hole with a wistful expression. "Poor thing…he's been through more than I have…and yet…he managed to perserveer and to find strength in her. I would like…to attend their wedding…before I leave these shores."  
  
"He has been through a lot yes…but his was only a year…whereas yours…much longer in the darkness." he held her gently, "Of course we shall…and I am certain there will be many who will come from across the realm for this event. Are you sure it will take place?"  
  
"Listen…." Merilas hushed him for a moment.   
  
From inside…they could hear laughing…and for the first time really since she had ever known the Hobbit…Frodo was clearly laughing….with joy….  
  
Merilas turned back to the Prince and he smiled…leaning down to take her lips in a gentle caress. There's was a love that endured the greatest of all tests…the test of letting go that what you want the most…so that it can survive.  
  
* * *  
THE END 


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